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Tonight, I cut for the first time in 4 months. I feel so refreshed & calm. Yet, so disappointed & scared.
I mean, yes, I feel better. But, where is it getting me, really? I’m upsetting the people who love me, and mutilating my body in the process. I’m creating scars that will never go away. I’m putting myself at risk of going back to the hospital. I’m upsetting my girlfriend & making her think that her love isn’t enough. (Which of course it is, she makes me happier than anyone else can.) I’m encouraging my sister. I’m freaking my mom out. And most of all..
I’m disappointing myself.
I thought I was strong enough to pull through this addiction. I was doing so good & I just had to go and screw things up.

I want to quit, I’m turning into a self-mutilating monster. I need help /: